Thursday, September 25, 2014

Chapter Two

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to post the second chapter! Right after I posted the first, I had an idea for a change to the next few chapters, and it took a little while to actual happen, especially with school!! But don't worry! The first draft of Chapter 2 is ready! :) I'll try to continue posting every Monday still. If you haven't read Chapter 1 yet, you should be able to scroll down and see my previous post, or check under the Blog Archive to the right.

An important character in this chapter is named Julius, and I have cast him as Bradley James.

Bradley James as Prince Julius.He's around 18-19....
Bradley James as "Julius"
To read this chapter, fill out the contact form to the right and in the message, put "Chapter 2" in the body of the message and I will give you access to the chapter. :)

--Rachel



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8 comments:

  1. MoriahSeptember 25, 2014 at 3:14 PM

    Ahh, Rachel, your descriptions and characters are amazing!! I love it. I had one critique (an easy fix)- on pages 5/6 it says that Ellyn rose twice and she said thank you twice. :) Another critique (you can take it or leave it :) is that maybe your characters should have some faults, to make them more relatable. I am so excited to see where you're going because it looks like there are so many ways the story could go!

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  2. UnknownSeptember 25, 2014 at 4:30 PM

    Thank you so much Moriah! Your comments are very helpful! I will definitely make those changes. Also, you made me think about how I can add depth to my characters. Thanks again! ;)

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  3. callie leeSeptember 26, 2014 at 7:57 AM

    YAY! *proceeds to read ravenously*

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  4. callie leeSeptember 26, 2014 at 8:21 AM

    OK, first, I think it might sound better if you took out the "only" in "the fighting had ONLY been going on for half an hour, but..." I just think it rolls of the tongue a little better. Also, in the first part with Leela, it says "sit UPON her own" (forgot the space) and it says "she managed a small weary ___ at Gwedolyn." Tell me if I'm being annoying!

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    1. UnknownSeptember 26, 2014 at 8:49 AM

      No, you're definitely not being annoying - that was very helpful! Thanks, I have already made the changes. :)

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  5. UnknownOctober 30, 2014 at 1:14 PM

    One small thing I noticed was that you mentioned sweat on the Kings face twice in short time. But it's good :)

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    1. UnknownOctober 30, 2014 at 3:31 PM

      Thanks Charlotte! I'm going to go fix that now. ;)

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    2. UnknownOctober 30, 2014 at 3:31 PM

      Oh and I'm glad that the link finally worked!

      Delete

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